Moving Abroad Poems
need constructive criticism of my poem
please tell me what you want from this poem, more precisely, it is cliche / lame / corny? honestly be. Thank you. oh, and if your'e just going to write something in a lame attempt to be funny, you will save your time and grow the f *** up in the moment my year was the alcohol in a bottle as I drank alone, and I was drinking with friends every sip of a separate moment and every night their own end, I went abroad in the spring A fresh new country and new people I missed you so wild, sweet drinks Poured into a glass of fear And now that I see you again I'll drink with you, and I drink for You moving full throttle butterflies I'm lucky, you're saying, but my luck, Cheers to a new bottle.
The message in it is a little unclear. The beginning sounds like the beginning of a depressed person drinks away her life. The mean, as if the person found someone or something that made him happy, but the end …. is unclear. I like the lines "Every sip a separate moment and every night its purpose" and "The sweet drinks poured into a glass of August." Experiments You make your history a little bit clearer. If it is found, you re talking about then you try it in the same love pa-Sass, that you almost done with the above lines.
Shajarian,Saadi poem,Now my soul is moving with the beloved.
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